The September Reset: Getting Back Into a Routine Without Pretending We Have It All Together

It is currently somewhere in the 70s in New York, my house is covered in rust-colored throw pillows and pumpkins, and I am happily working my way through every gluten-free pumpkin spice item Trader Joe’s has decided I need this year.

So yes, apparently I’ve decided it’s fall. And yes, my birthday was yesterday, but I absolutely refuse to acknowledge that technically makes me a summer baby since fall doesn’t officially start until September 21st. In my mind, September is fall, I was born in fall, and I will not be accepting questions at this time.

Maybe that’s part of why September has always felt like a fresh start to me. My birthday rolls around, the boys head back to school, sports start back up, the house gets a little moodier and cozier, and suddenly I have that same new year, new me energy – just with better weather, pumpkin spice, and significantly more soccer cleats by the door.

There’s something about this month that makes me want to reset everything: the house, our routines, my closet, my habits, and maybe even myself a little bit.

Keyword: want.

Actually getting my life together is another story.

This September especially has brought a LOT of feelings.

I’m relieved that school and sports are back because, quite frankly, my boys needed a schedule again. Summer is wonderful, but there are only so many days I can watch children alternate between video games and asking me what there is to eat before I start counting down to the first day of school.

At the same time, our calendar has gone from wonderfully empty to looking like someone is playing Tetris with our lives.

Soccer. Swimming. Martial arts. Boy Scouts. Games. Before-school activities. Work. Commuting.

And somewhere in there, apparently we’re supposed to eat dinner, which, depending on that day’s schedule, happens at either 4 p.m. or 8 p.m. There is no in-between.

There is not enough caffeine in the world. Although I am certainly willing to test that theory.

_{This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through one of my links, at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for supporting Valerie Coastal!}

First, Coffee

Let’s be realistic: none of these schedules, routines, or attempts at getting our lives together are happening without coffee. Most things in my life begin with coffee, and September is certainly no exception.

My current favorite is an iced cinnamon roll latte with oat milk—and if anyone wants the recipe, leave me a comment and I’ll happily share it! If I’m rushing, I’ll use Nescafé Blonde instant espresso for a quick caffeine fix. If I have a little more time, I’ll brew Nespresso’s Maple Pecan coffee, which might be my favorite fall coffee flavor ever.

Hot or iced depends entirely on the morning; sometimes it’s both.

Today, for example, started with a hot coffee and eventually required an iced Nescafé.

That should probably tell you everything you need to know about how September is going.

Nespresso machine

Getting Everyone Back on a Schedule

The hardest part of September isn’t necessarily school itself. It’s getting all four of us back into the rhythm of school.

Earlier bedtimes. Earlier wake-ups. Practices. Games. Activities. Work schedules. Remembering which child needs to be where and when, which parent is responsible for getting him there, and who needs to bring his French horn to school that day (because, of COURSE, they both chose a brass instrument.)

One thing I am VERY grateful to have off my plate this year? Packing school lunches every night. New York now provides free breakfast and lunch to students at participating public schools, and as a working mom, I cannot tell you how happy I am to cross that particular task off the nightly list. One less thing to pack, plan, remember, or realize we forgot at 9:30 p.m.? I’ll take the win.

The schedule itself, however?

That’s another story.

We generally try to keep our kids to two activities each. We aren’t forcing them to be overscheduled; they genuinely love what they’re doing and want to participate. However our oldest threw us a bit of a curveball this year because he wasn’t willing to give up Boy Scouts, so he’s currently balancing three activities. We’re going to let him see how this year goes and decide for himself whether that’s something he wants to continue next year.

I love that they’re involved.

I love watching them do things they care about.

I also sometimes look at our calendar and wonder what we have done to ourselves.

Both things can be true.

My $300 Family Calendar Hack

One thing that keeps us somewhat sane is having our schedule everywhere.

We have a wall calendar in our office. Everyone has access to the family Google Calendar on their phones. And we have a digital family calendar mounted to our refrigerator.

Except I refused to spend hundreds of dollars on one. Instead, I took an old tablet we weren’t using anymore, put Google Calendar on it, and attached it to the side of the refrigerator with Velcro.

That’s it.

It’s usually left open to the calendar, but the boys know how to get back to it if someone closes the app. Now everyone can see what we’re dealing with that week, and theoretically no one can claim, “I didn’t know I had practice tonight.”

Theoretically.

Heavy Duty Velcro Mounting Strips

Resetting the House—Without Becoming a Minimalist

I have been slowly trying to declutter our house for about a year now. And when I say slowly, I mean slowly. I love the idea of a beautifully decluttered home, but I’ve also accepted that minimalism just isn’t our family’s style.

We like stuff.

We like books and photos and seasonal decorations and all the little things we’ve collected over the years. Our home is lived in, and I actually like that about it. That being said, we’re also a family that has a tendency to hold onto things way longer than necessary, with some very ADHD-ish “I’ll put this somewhere safe and then completely forget it exists” tendencies thrown into the mix.

So my goal isn’t to have less just for the sake of having less. It’s to make a little more room for the things we genuinely use, love, or would actually miss.

Recently, I tackled our entrance/sofa table. It has storage bins inside, which sounds wonderful until you realize storage bins can very easily become places where you put things and then forget those things exist for three years. There was quite a bit of: “Oh. THAT’S where that went.”

Followed immediately by: “We haven’t needed this in two years. Why are we keeping it?”

Next I’d like to tackle our office and basement. And eventually… The garage. (I don’t want to talk about the garage. The garage and I are not currently on speaking terms.)

But that’s something I’ve learned about decluttering: I don’t need to empty my entire house in a weekend.

One drawer counts. One basket counts. One forgotten cabinet counts.

And honestly, part of the reason I want to clear some of the clutter isn’t because I want an emptier house. It’s because I want to actually enjoy the things we do love instead of having them competing with a bunch of stuff we’ve forgotten we even own.

Which brings me to one of my favorite parts of the September reset: making the house feel like fall again. 🍂🍁

Changing the House for Fall

Decluttering might be gradual, but switching the house over for fall? That I will happily do.

Most of the obvious summer décor has been put away, and I’ve transitioned our bedding and tabletop décor into the darker, moodier style that I love during fall and winter.

I’ve brought out rust-colored pillows and throws, including a few subtle pumpkin patterns. There are pumpkins, gourds and fall foliage throughout the house, but I tend to stay away from super-bright orange. Give me rust. Brown. Deep green. Warm wood. Moody candlelight.

Basically, I want my house to look like Ralph Lauren moved into a slightly haunted New England library.

Pumpkin Throw Pillow Covers | Rust Colored Textured Throw Blanket

I’ve also switched to warmer candle scents and brought my candle warmer back into heavier rotation.

And we’re not even at my favorite part yet, because in a couple of weeks, the cozy fall décor starts giving way to skeletons, gothic décor and our annual transformation into the Halloween House.

We take Halloween seriously. Very seriously.

Every year while we’re out trick-or-treating, we’ll hear kids running down the street saying, “WE NEED TO GO TO THAT CREEPY HOUSE NEXT!” Honestly, there are few compliments I treasure more.

Maybe it’s the Romanian in me. I spent enough of my life hearing vampire jokes that at some point I decided to stop fighting it and fully embrace the witchy/vampire aesthetic (and not just in October.) I’ll save the full Halloween-house transformation for another post because it deserves one of its own.

The Part of the Reset That’s Actually About Me

This is the part I’m trying to be better about. As moms, it’s incredibly easy for a “fall reset” to turn into organizing everyone else’s life. The kids are back on schedule. The house is organized. The activities are on the calendar. The seasonal décor is out. Everyone has what they need.

Meanwhile, Mom is surviving on caffeine and vibes.

So I’ve been trying to build back a few routines that are actually mine. In the spring, I made a real effort to get back into my skincare routine. Thanks to the absolute joy that is perimenopause, I’m apparently dealing with acne and wrinkles simultaneously. Because why choose? But I’m finally in a good place with my routine, and I’ve been consistent about doing it both morning and night. It isn’t revolutionary. It’s just ten minutes when I’m taking care of myself.

And right now, I’ll take it.

I Started Reading Again

One of the best things I’ve done for myself recently was buy a Kindle. I used to be an avid reader, but somewhere between work, commuting, kids, activities and life, I stopped making time for it. So I made reading convenient again. Now I read on my commute into the city (if I’m not falling asleep), on the way home, and usually for about an hour before bed.

Kindle Paperwhite | Kindle cover | Kindle Page Turner

And that last part has made a surprisingly big difference. Instead of spending that hour doom-scrolling or mindlessly watching television, I’m reading. I’m sleeping better and actually look forward to getting into bed. The best part is that I’ve rediscovered something I genuinely love doing.

I recently finished the Empyrean series and am now very impatiently waiting for Book Four. Unfortunately, Rebecca Yarros has apparently decided that patience is something I need to work on, because we still don’t have a release date. We are getting Threshing Day on September 29th, so at least she’s giving us something to hold us over.

But Book Four? Still waiting. So I’ll have to find other fictional universes to emotionally destroy me in the meantime. (I’ve already started another romantasy series. Naturally.)

What I Haven’t Figured Out Yet

Painting and working out.

Those are the two pieces of myself I’d really like to bring back next. I miss painting. And I really, really miss yoga.

There was a time when yoga was part of my everyday life. I miss how flexible I was, but more than that, I miss how strong I felt. I’m not necessarily approaching exercise from a “I need to lose weight” perspective anymore. Would losing a few pounds be nice? Sure. But that’s not really the point.

I want to feel healthy. I want my body to feel strong and flexible. I want to be able to move well. The problem is finding the time AND energy. After commuting and working all day, then coming home to activities and everything else that needs to happen, I’m often exhausted. Add stress or weather-triggered migraines into the mix and sometimes working out simply isn’t happening.

I’m trying to accept that getting back to myself doesn’t have to happen all at once.

Maybe September is reading.

Maybe October brings ten minutes of yoga.

Maybe painting comes back on a quiet Sunday afternoon.

It doesn’t all have to happen Monday morning.

Dressing for Fall When New York Hasn’t Gotten the Memo

The other funny part about September is that mentally I’m ready for sweaters, trench coats and boots…

…while New York is still giving us temperatures in the 70s and 80s.

So my wardrobe hasn’t made a dramatic fall transition yet. I’ve mostly swapped my summer linen work pants for regular trousers and started leaning more intentionally into my Soft Autumn colors of rust, olive, camel, cream, warm browns, muted blues. Even when the actual clothes aren’t particularly “fall,” wearing colors that work together makes me feel more put together—which is helpful when the rest of my life feels like organized chaos.

The cardigans and trench coats will come. Eventually.

Hopefully before Christmas. 🤞🏼

What I’m Looking Forward to

For all the chaos September brings, I love this time of year. Fall has always been my favorite season. I’m looking forward to fire-pit nights, getting into the hot tub after a ridiculously long week, and eventually waking up to those cool mornings that make you want to grab a cardigan before walking out the door.

I’m looking forward to football Sundays and the inevitable arguments over who’s going to win because somehow we support three different football teams in this house. And because that apparently wasn’t enough football-related chaos, my husband and I both have fantasy teams—so now we’re also rooting for completely random players on teams we don’t even like.

Which has put me in the deeply uncomfortable position, as a New Yorker, of having to admit that while I absolutely cannot bring myself to support the Philadelphia Eagles… I LOVE Jalen Hurts. Fantasy football makes you do weird things.

And just when football season is getting into full swing, hockey comes back to make sure there is basically never a night in our house without some kind of game on TV. I’m very ready for Rangers season—and hopefully watching the New York Rangers give us something resembling a good season this year.

Please. I’m not asking for much.

But I’m also looking forward to all the quieter things that come with fall. Cardigans coming back into rotation. Candles burning while I read at night. Cooler mornings and earlier sunsets. That first night when you realize you actually need a blanket on the couch instead of just keeping one there because it looks pretty.

And, obviously, Halloween.

The pumpkins. The skeletons. The spooky movies. The gothic décor. Turning our house into the creepy one that neighborhood kids specifically seek out every year.

All of it.

There’s something comforting about the rhythm of fall returning. Maybe that’s why September feels like such a natural reset for me in the first place. Everything is busy and slightly chaotic, but at the same time, so many of the things I love are coming back.

Maybe a Reset Doesn’t Need to Be a Reinvention

I think that’s what I’m realizing this September: a reset doesn’t have to mean becoming a completely different person.

My house doesn’t need to be perfectly organized, and my pantry certainly doesn’t need to be color-coded. I already wake up at 5 a.m. for work, so I am absolutely not waking up any earlier to meditate, work out for an hour, drink green juice and somehow have dinner in the Crock-Pot before the rest of the house wakes up.

There are limits to this reset. I don’t need to lose twenty pounds, overhaul my entire routine or God forbid, clean out the garage this weekend.

Maybe right now, getting my life together looks a lot less impressive than that. Maybe it’s reading my Kindle instead of scrolling on my phone at night. Actually washing my face before bed even when I’m exhausted. Clearing out one storage bin and calling it a productive afternoon. Putting the calendar somewhere everyone can see it and hoping that means someone besides me knows what’s happening this week.

Maybe eventually I’ll get back on my yoga mat. I’d really like to. But I’m also trying to stop treating everything I haven’t gotten around to yet as another thing I’m failing to do.

Because while I’ve spent a lot of this post talking about how insane our schedule is, and believe me, I will continue complaining about it, I also know I’m going to miss this someday. I’m going to miss watching my boys grab their bags and run off to another practice. I’m going to miss the games, the activities, the French horns, the ridiculous calendar and probably even some of the driving. (Okay, maybe not all of the driving.)

But this year especially, I’m feeling how quickly these seasons change. My baby is in his last year of elementary school, and I’m somehow supposed to be okay with that. It’s incredibly bittersweet, because part of me would happily keep him little forever. But at the same time, I love the little dude he is right now, and I’m so excited to see the person he’s becoming.

So maybe I don’t actually want to spend this season constantly trying to get through it.

Maybe the September reset isn’t about finally getting everything under control. I’m beginning to suspect that’s never going to happen anyway. Maybe it’s just about clearing away a little of the unnecessary stuff (the clutter, the doom-scrolling, the pressure to do everything perfectly) so there’s more room to enjoy the stuff that’s actually good.

Even when the good stuff is loud, overscheduled and requires an absurd amount of driving.

I’ll take it.

Preferably with an iced cinnamon roll latte in one hand and a gluten-free pumpkin spice muffin in the other.

Because it may still be 80 degrees outside…

but in this house?

It’s fall.

xx Valerie